Full Card Gallery

The Neck Blizzard trading card

LEGENDARY

The Neck Blizzard

He arrives with thunder on the collar and leaves only hairspray in the wind.

Billy Bassline trading card

RARE

Billy Bassline

A jukebox soul with a tailgate heart and a haircut tuned to FM glory.

The Camaro Poet trading card

EPIC

The Camaro Poet

He writes sonnets on napkins and parks sideways under the moon.

Turbo Dale trading card

LEGENDARY

Turbo Dale

A burnout prophet with sacred curls escaping under a mesh-back crown.

Rattail Romeo trading card

UNCOMMON

Rattail Romeo

He whispers sweet nothings beside the snack machine and means every syllable.

The Lawnchair Laureate trading card

RARE

The Lawnchair Laureate

His throne folds flat, his wisdom comes with cup holders.

Skullet Prophet trading card

MYTHIC

Skullet Prophet

Business left town; the party became a religion.

Mall Food Court Mike trading card

COMMON

Mall Food Court Mike

A pretzel-scented legend pacing the tile like it owes him money.

The Denim Oracle trading card

EPIC

The Denim Oracle

He sees the future in acid wash and warns only the worthy.

Cassette King Kevin trading card

RARE

Cassette King Kevin

Every heartbreak becomes side B, every chorus grows a tail.

Mudflap Marty trading card

UNCOMMON

Mudflap Marty

He was raised by diesel fumes and diner coffee after midnight.

The Permed Outlaw trading card

LEGENDARY

The Permed Outlaw

His curls obey no county ordinance and fear no wedding photo.

AOL Earl trading card

RARE

AOL Earl

He signs on loud, loves harder, and disconnects dramatically.

Velvet Rope Randy trading card

EPIC

Velvet Rope Randy

He has never been on the list, yet always enters first.

The Garage Bard trading card

COMMON

The Garage Bard

He rhymes with a socket wrench and bleeds motor oil metaphors.

County Fair Phoenix trading card

RARE

County Fair Phoenix

From deep-fried smoke he rises, prize ribbon tangled in his mane.

Thunderbang Travis trading card

MYTHIC

Thunderbang Travis

His bangs arrive first, then the storm warning.

The Karaoke Falcon trading card

EPIC

The Karaoke Falcon

He screams power ballads until the neon learns to cry.

Bowling Alley Brad trading card

UNCOMMON

Bowling Alley Brad

He rolls with destiny and smells faintly like rented greatness.

Captain Cutoff trading card

LEGENDARY

Captain Cutoff

He cut the sleeves from doubt and rode into the hot afternoon.